Mcwhatever

McDeary,

My focal is quite on the low…so as my love life… :(…so as my game…:(…bummer…i had the burden of having the last touch...yun pala ang feeling...:(...syet
We had a number of guests tonight…we had our friends for dinner, coach jay, Jowell, jerk, jeck, allan, dennis, tom...(i remembered one time you ate dinner at our house...you brought your Tuna Spread and Wheat bread with you...and you kept on saying your ex's name...i say...get out of my house!!!...hahahahah!)
We also played poker, I didn’t place any bet, but chose to be the dealer…I get to have 1 chip every deal…the proceeds goes to the house…to buy water, additional fund for electricity…etc.
We wrapped up around midnight…it was Big brothers request that we finish early…after that…it was cold silence again that filled the house. I decided to get my laptop and do some final wok for Quarter close. I can’t quite focus on what im doing…so I decided to do writing.

There were some mails earlier regarding decisions…I need no sermon on this…I know…I know …(I hope I learn)…thanks to Bianca and Zanjoe…ahahaha… Ü

Decision - The act of making up your mind about something…
…like when I broke up with agie, I chose to smoke, I chose to play badminton even with injured knee, when I chose to drift from my hs buds, when I said yes to my moms request…decisions, decisions….we make them…we gamble on them…we face the uncertain…with hopes in our pocket…just like in poker…
…we have our set of cards…sort of our skills and tricks…
…we place our bets to see how the flop will fair with our cards…if it feels right…we move forward and place another bet…if not…we chose to fold and wait for the next round…we loose some…but choose to play it safe
…bluff…hah…its playing your cards right…nobody has to know… ;)
…having that rueful sigh…hey…lifes a joke…

…so McDeary…y did you fold???...you should have known, the river was at your favor…
…show cards dear…

Post Focal thoughts...

Im thinking…after hearing my focal…”Yun na yung isang taon ko…”….
Lifes a joke…Lifes a joke…
This is focal fever my friends…this is the time things like this come to your mind…

Change in career:
-Buhay Banda - love the night life…embrace the music…share the gift that God has given me…(not my frontal gift) hahah! Ü
-Buhay Barko - this has been a family thing…my dad, uncles, aunties…the Villamor family went well in this business
-Buhay OFW - if I decided to pursue this, “diskarte” will be my edge Ü
-Buhay Poker - ill be dealing cards and be the commentator at the same time…”Quiet please…Thank You”
-Buhay Call Center - I believe I have some communication skills developed already…i can easily adopt here..also…there are a lot of call centers around Alabang…that will be good…Ü…hehehe Ü
-Buhay BUM - hmmm…not an option!

Goodluck to my friends na hindi pa tapos ang download...
All i can say is....

...Yun lang pala ang halaga ng 1 taon kong ginawa...SAN KA PA!

Survey Survey

1.ARE YOU OVER 18?
Yep…they say im 41…hahaha…just kidding…im 24

2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOURCELLPHONE?
Godskitchen

3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LASTNIGHT?
Sleep…thank God yes…tig iisa kami ng electricfan…hahaha…saya! Ü

4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP?
…”kelangan ko bilisan maligo…may 7 am meeting sila ate kage at jona…shems…na-gegerbs pa naman ako”

5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOURBEDSIDE?
Tussie! Ü….for my early morning sickness.

6. EVER TRIED TO SKIP MEAL?
Yes…before I used to skip bfast…but scientist and recent studies showed that skipping breakfast causes the brain to shrink…hmmm…bad… Ü

7. GRILLED OR FRIED?
Hahahaha…grilled sana.. Ü

8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE ?
Im alive alert awake enthusiastic

9. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Hmmm…not naman. Ü (naks…so conyo…not namaaaaannnnn)

10. FAVORITE HANGOUT?
Anywhere as long as there is good company Ü

11. THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
Music! Ü

12. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN 1 THOUSAND DOLLARS?
Parker Fly guitarrrrrrrrr… Ü (kulang pa…abonado pa ako…wahahah Ü)

13. FAVORITE SONG WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPY?
Hahahahaha…tama si jay and dj…hahahahaha Ü

14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
Ngorshy…hahaha Ü

15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
Its depend! Ü

16. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Van, atevanvan, ate van…

17. WHAT IS THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR DAD'S MIDDLE NAME?
G

18. IF YOU WERE INVISIBLE FOR A DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU BE?
Hahahahahaha… Ü secret Ü

19. STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD ITBE?
Maling and egg…wahahha Ü

20. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
Fita, Chunkee, BioLink

21. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN CASE OF A FIRE
Laptop…mawalan na nga ako ng bahay magbayad pa ako sa intel…tsk tsk tsk!

22. YOUR EYE COLOR?
Black…

23. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS BRING?
Wallet, cell, mp3 player, keys, pony

24. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
Sumo wrestler…wahahahah …gusto kong maging member ng Bioman dati…hahahaha Ü…Aura Power! Ü

25. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 7 AM?
Magyaya ng mag breakfast. Ü

26. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET?
Ay…brown ata yun…parang yellow ochre ata… Ü

27. WHO DO U WANT TO MEET?
the pope…yah agree with jay… Ü

28. HOW'S LIFE TODAY?
Life is good…tomorrow…hmmm..maybe later…ask me again Ü

My Must Haves and More...

MY MUST HAVES

-Must have Janet Jacksons Velvet rope album. reminds me of Adrianne...hahaha...suddenly i thought about this album...(Giboy din kasi!)
-Must have a decent shades...rudy project or oakley maybe...but as of the moment...my fake, trying, wanna be adidas shades will do. :)
-Must have iPOD. Im a music lover...what can i say??? :)
-Must have a decent electric guitar...Washburn will do...wahehehe...still want those Parker Fly guitar...you know..rockin with 5 lbs guitar...awesome!!! :)
-Sony Ericson K750i - not my dream fone...but this will do...pretty much what i need! :P

AND MORE

It is mixed emotion to know that one of my colleagues will be enjoying her hefty increase on April 10 while she is just around 4months in Intel to date. Yes...do the math...she was ranked and rated when she was a month old in the company. Well...i cant blame her...she has this amazing manager that positions her staff well...and maybe the advantage of having a small department...DAMN!...i worked my butt off for a year..."ALONE" to get the salary she will be getting in April 10...oh well...Lifes a joke...might as well laugh at it...EASYYYYY...inhale...exhale...Im happy for her...but as what one of my mentors said...much will be expected from you...you have to rally...you have to run...you have to catch up...


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH///i hate focal week!...jusko...
SERIOUSLY....just tell me if i screwed up...


----
McDeary,

talk to me! dammit!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!

im dying...im anxious...im super tensed on the outcome of my Focal...please..spare me the agony of waiting...

So Help us God... (taken from The Athletes Oath)

ww12

This week has been good…specially towards the end week. Even though we lost our game vs. CNO…it was ok…we were able to check out the moves of our opponents. I had fun celebrating our championship last season with my team mates…lalo na si betchay…makulit din and lahi niya…Ü…hehehe…I also elnjoyed the Gen Emilio Aguinaldo day…one day of rest…all day sleeping I may say…yehesss…I missed jona though, she only came to work around Thursday. We invited friends over for dinner Thursday night, after Superproxys game, we had jay, jeck, allan, jerk, Jowell, and dencio for dinner. We then played poker after, me, ali, kj, dencio, and tom…james Amposta followed after…he went home as the the big winner…that bastard…hahah…cant blame him…he had that poker face in him…naturally…hahahah! Ü…I lost 200…hmmm..not bad..for a night of fun…as some would say…I’ll just think that I went to a cozy restaurant for dinner…hahaha…Firday night came and we had our teambuilding in Eagleridge. It was fun…me and Jowell were given the title as most pasaway…hahaha…damn…eventhough we are pasaway we are very attentive in all the activities, we are not the type of pasaway that does not contribute anything to the group…may silbi naman kami… hahaha…masyadong defensive…Ms. Pia…salamat sa perception…HAHAHA! Ü After the teambuilding we had our dinner at Greenwich in waltermart. We got some chips and bought some beer…another night poker…hahaha…im not getting addicted though (next time I loose my first 100, I’ll be the dealer and I’’ get 1 chip from the winner every round Ü)…Ü…there we were, me, ali, momsie, popsie, iam, Jowell, vince and hazel…hail yee to the the big winner…aLi! Ü…revelation from momsie…big time poker girl…with matching yosi..while…bluffing..WAHAHAHAH! Ü…Vince…Lito Lapid…BUNOT! Ü…haha…a tapang a vince di a takbo…di na natuto kalaban si momsie…I must agree..ang hirap basahin ng laro ni momsie…si vince…one hell of a gambler…matapang na tao…BUNOT! Ü…wahahah..jowell cant play straight poker…hahaha..he has this antiques that you’ll see what his cards are…I guess we are both passive pagdating sa cards namin. Next time we play…we should have chips…we might get caught…CARDs + MONEY = GAMBLING…mahirap na…bahay pa man din ni big brother yun. Sana there will be more of us playing, I hope jay, trix, karen, jcboy, teteng can join us…hmmm..i think I’ll also invite ana and alex…hahahah…Ü. Blue Dolphin will soon be swimming in CNO and CMO line this coming Q3. goodluck to the layout IEs that will pursue the plans. Ü…Ngisian nalang namin kayo ni Gib…heheheh..(may alam kami na di niyo alam!hahah!)

McDeary,

Bon Voyage…I hope you have a easy time adjusting to your new environment…for sure ill miss your familiar face and loud voice. I’ll be seeing you in 6 months time.

Senti Senti ulit...

I dont know kung sino yung ang nagsulat nito...but this mail has been circling the net for quite a long time already...(intern pa lang ata ako... :))...read on..***BATO BATO SA LANGIT ANG TAMAAN WAG MAGAGALIT!Ü!


She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be"friends."They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else.It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are inthe dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."
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She works in a telecom company. He is reviewing for the board.They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phonetill 4am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is nooccasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolokapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dancefloor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya?"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug andkiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."
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They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watchmovie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potterbooks for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make anexjealous. They made out during the company outing in Subicand nevertalked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if sheheard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she issure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming thatwith what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's justone hitch: he has a girlfriend!
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She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Bothmountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a fewdates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would makeout. They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that"sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about itbut it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's importantis I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."
The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutualunderstanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings.Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where thepersons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, perohindi. This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages fordifferent reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love eachother, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason.And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kayakunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang.Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usuallythe guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-breakdoon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niyaginagawa),wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."
This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo nakung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindinaman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyankesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.
Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationshipsdin ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sakanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing,puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.
But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship,the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship,you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K kanga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos? Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rinniya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.
Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithfulto him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan.Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me,"hindi "us."
Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship,hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you willbe miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only tofind out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship withsomebody else.Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and thenyou'd end up hurting yourself in the process. Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences. But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili.You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.
When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy,a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka.Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakankita."Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo.Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo perohindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya?almost, but not quite.

Scattered Thoughts

We won our game yesterday against planning....Kaya naman pala e...hahahah! It was indeed a good game! :)...winner ang pag coach ni jay...bitching us all when needed..."Jo...ang mga reception mo!"..."Oh ano ang balak natin ngayon?!"...oh well...lalo ko lang napapatunayan na hindi kailangan powerhouse ang line up...hehehe...(kasi ako hindi ako kasama sa powerhouse line up and yet nanalo kami...hahahaha!) blooper pa ako...time out na pala...pwestong pwesto pa ako...HAHAH...atleast napatawa ko naman ang mga tao...HAHAHA! :)
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NAK NG P@!#!#$%^$%&^%*&&%(*(&^%$#@!$!#@$^%&*(*(mailto:&^$%$@!!@$^&!
wag mo na unti-untiin yung pinapagawa mo saakin...kung gusto mo ako nalang ang gagawa...mas mabilis pa...HANG KULIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!! aaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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Bago mo kami diktahan kung magbabawas kami ng tool dahil sa capacity...paki ayos muna ng planning niyo for the faciliites. Namannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!...ever since the world began...jan na nakaplano yan...so shut the f!@#K up! i do my job...you do your job...powta...nakakapang init ka ng ulo!...dada ka ng dada...wala ka namang alam!...nyeta!
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I wasnt able to join aunte elmas despidida last night...too late to see the message...tsk tsk tsk..sayang...anyweiz...i pray that she have a safe trip...naku...matagal na naman ang uwi ni aunte nito... :)...YEHESSSSSSSSSSS...hahahah! :)
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Bambi called me last monday night...nangangamusta lang...i bet masaya lang din talaga siya...hahaha...kasi....HAHAHA...the next thing i know...her status goes something like..."Its been a while but you still make me smile!"...hahahahha..in lab pa rin ata siya...ahaha!
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03/13 --> birthday ni daddy...same with sir pat...hmmm...sino pa kaya...hahahah! :)...i was laughing as i force myself to sleep last monday midnight...it was a text from jona...asking...meron bang may bday ngayon?!?!hahahah...it slipped our mind...HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEEEEEE!!!!...(jona remembered dahil email add...hahah)
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Focal download is around the corner...i was asking mike kung kelan ba niya download yung result...di pa raw siya tapos sa write up...shet..lalo tuloy ako kinabahan...shet.
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I hope next time i write...wala na akong angry thoughts...nakakainis e...dapat happy thoughts lang...wahehehehehehehe... :)

GAP

...san nga ba nagsiimula yung word na yun?!?!...pag lasing ka talaga...kung anu-ano ang nasasabi mo...
nagsasabi ka rin pala ng totoo pag lasing ka na...hahahaha! :)

...wag ka lang talaga makapagsalita ng mali...laglagan na...

...sana nagtanong kalang...kung di mo lang alam...

Sana nagtanong ka lang...kung di mo lang alam...

The first time i heard this song in Jam, i immediately knew it was Up dharma Down...and indeed...I'm right (tadaaaaa!). Hindi ko pa masyado naintindihan yung lyrics nun una ko siyang narinig sa radio...pero ngayon...i keep on playing it sa player ko...hahaha..natatawa nalang ako...hahaha....theme song ko tuloy ito ngayon..hahaha...napansin kaya ni tom yun??? :)


Oo
Up dharma Down - Fragmented

Di mo lang alam, naiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
Di mo lang alam, hanggang sa gabi
Inaasam makita kang muli
Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang
Panahon, at ngayon ako’y iyong iniwang
Luhaang sugatan’t di-mapakinabangan
Sana nagtanong ka lang kung di mo alam
Sanay nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
Akoy iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naming
Hindi mo lang alam kay tagal nang panahon
Akoy nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon, para sayo
Lumipas mga araw na ubod saya
Di parin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung akoy nagkasala, patawad n asana
Ang puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal
Di mo lang alam akoy iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naming
Puro siya nalang sanay ako naman
Di mo lang alam ikay minamasdan
Sanay iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam
Di mo lang alam, kahit tayo’y magkaibigan lang
Bumabalik lahat sa tuwing nag kukulitan
Baka sakali lang, maisip mo naming
Ako’y nandito lang, hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman
Kung ikaw at ako ay tunay na bigo
Sa laro na ito, ay dapat bang sumuko
Sanay di ka nalang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang akoy iyong masasaktan ng ganito
Sanay nakinig nalang ako sa nanay ko
Di mo lang alam ako’y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
puro siya nalang o, sanay ako naman
di mo lang alam ikay minamasdan
sanay iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam
malas mo…ikaw ang natipuhan ko.
Di mo lang alam, akoy iyong nasaktan

Winning a Battle, Loosing the War

...fine...i may have won some battles...proved some things...made my point...but you won the war...i surrender...i loose...go away...go away...

"tears are fallin, time has chosen you to set me free..."
- Never there/wickermoss